Home Is Where The Heart Is
by X-Keva-X
Summary: Lux loves Saix. Xemnas vanished into the darkness. Xal decides they all need to move on and leave the castle. Saix is having none of it until Lux and Xal give him an ultimatum either leave willingly or they will force him out. What will he do in the world alone with no one to teach him how to live? Maybe Lux will show him what it means to really live and have a place called home.


A total and complete cheese fest of a fic. The ending is especially cheese-ball so if you don't like cheesy romances then don't read this but it you do read it because you don't mind then hey good on ya. Hope you enjoy; much love for you all. Keva

xx

Saïx sat at the table pushing his food around on his plate and scowling deeply. He kept getting the distinct feeling that he was being watched but every time he looked around the room at his fellow members none of them were ever looking at him.

Maybe it was all just psychological or maybe it was the new heart given to him by their leader acting up or perhaps it was a defective heart. No his heart was good, seemed to work fine, and all his long lost feelings were back just as real as he now was.

So if his heart wasn't defective then it just had to be in his head and he was just imagining that he was being stared at. No that couldn't be it either he was always very in tune with what was going on around him and the boring of eyes into his soul was very real.

He looked up when he felt the eyes on him again and looked around the table for what seemed to be the hundredth time in the span of five minutes and still nothing.

Or so he thought; just when he made to look back down at his plate he locked stares with glinting silver/blue eyes looking at him from over a tea cup. He furrowed his brows deeply when Luxord smirked and winked at him between sips of his tea before setting the cup down and turning to face Xigbar fully to respond to something the FreeShooter had said.

Why was Luxord staring at him? Never did he nor the Gambler have much to say to one another other than which mission he was supposed to be on when they were seeking their hearts. Now that they had their long lost hearts returned they had even less to say to one another.

Then again maybe Luxord wasn't the one looking at him and it just happened that they locked stares when number X was looking around the room. It was entirely possible and it was entirely possible he was just being paranoid but the wink said otherwise. This new heart thing was going to take A LOT of getting used to especially with these strange foreign never before remembered feelings he was suffering from namely this paranoia thing that his new heart seemed to favor.

Oh how he wished Xemnas was here to tell him what was wrong with his heart. But no their Superior just HAD to open the Door To Darkness and he just HAD to go in saying he'd be back as soon as he could once he found whatever it was he was looking for in the darkness. He just wished he was here to answer what was wrong with him.

He looked around the table again at their five remaining members... well it would be six had Axel not took off to who knows where to do who in the hell cared wherever he went. None of them knew what to do now but sit around waiting for their Superior to return and tell them what they were supposed to be doing.

They rarely ever left the castle... well he rarely ever left the castle being he had no where to go. The others would disappear to do whatever they did wherever they went or to get supplies for their little group but beyond they just stayed home; waiting.

Especially him; he was what Xigbar called a total homebody and he didn't care. He'd been to all the other worlds and none of them appealed to him so why bother going to a place you didn't like? Home was just as good as anywhere and besides he wanted to stay just in case Xemnas suddenly came home. He had a million questions for his Superior and he wanted them answered as soon as possible. Maybe then he wouldn't be so confused about all these strange feelings he didn't understand.

Again he felt eyes on him and again looked around to see who was looking at him and ended up locking stares with Xaldin. Only with Xaldin it wasn't a stare like Luxord was staring at him he was just looking at him. "What?" He glowered at the large man.

Xaldin arched a dark brow at him. "And do tell what has you so bent out of shape?"

"Dark skies and white walls." Xigbar nodded. "He's completely institutionalized himself in this place." He stared over at the Berserker. "Ain't that right."

"No!" He growled.

"He has a point." Luxord nodded. "You never leave home for any reason."

"Maybe he likes it here." Demyx came to Saïx's defense.

"Not that much." Xaldin nodded though he kept his eyes locked on the Diviner. "What's out there that you're so afraid of?"

Saïx narrowed his ambers to deadly little slits. "I fear nothing." He growled threateningly at the large man just daring him to keep it up before he killed him.

Xaldin was bigger than him but that didn't mean anything. Everyone knew that just under the Superior he was the second most powerful and he had sparred with every member of the Organization at least once. Xaldin came only second next to Lexaeus in coming close to beating him so threatening the Lancer didn't worry him in the least.

"Then why don't you ever leave?" Xigbar questioned.

"That is none of your concern." He countered deadly. What was this some kind of intervention? Why did they even care what he did or didn't do it was none of their damn business anyway.

"He's probably pining away for the Superiuff..." Xigbar trailed off when his throat was suddenly being held tight by one pissed off Berserker's pale hand. He had to marvel at how fast the Berserker could fly across the table and incapacitate him.

"Watch your tongue or I shall be forced to remove it from your useless skull." Saïx growled then threw the FreeShooter against the nearest wall before he vanished in a swirl of darkness.

"Wow" Demyx gasped then ran over to his one eyed friend. "are you okay?" He kneeled down next to him.

Luxord shook his head at Xigbar then looked back at Xaldin. "That went over smoothly."

Xaldin grunted and sighed deeply. "If that dumb ass would keep his big mouth closed once in awhile we'd be able to talk to him." He glowered over at the slowly coming back to consciousness FreeShooter.

"What if I tell him I'm leaving then go then Xigbar tells him he's leaving and goes then you guys." Demyx nodded over at them.

"That's not a half bad idea." Luxord nodded.

"Or the boy can tell him he's leaving and that the rest of us will be leaving soon after." Xaldin nodded. "This way it gives him some time to decide what he's going to do."

"He'll just stay here no matter what any of us do." Xigbar sat up and rubbed his head. "You forget he doesn't remember his past like we do so he doesn't know who he really was or is. He'll just stay here waiting for Xemnas to get back to tell him what to do."

"He has a point." Luxord nodded. "Saïx never did anything unless Xemnas told him to do it. I highly doubt he will be able to handle making his own decisions without turning it into an ordeal."

"Or failing at it completely." Xigbar nodded and stood up with the help of Demyx at his side. "I hate to say it man but Saïx won't make it out there on his own."

"Well we can't just leave him here" Demyx frowned. "all by himself. He'd get really lonely."

"Well he won't go with any of us and doesn't ever go anywhere on his own." Xaldin pointed out. "So what choice do we have but to tell him we're leaving and let him do what he has to do."

"We could come back and visit him sometimes." Demyx nodded. "That way he at least has company sometimes."

"Now that's not a bad idea." Xigbar nodded. "And maybe we can get him to come visit us once in awhile and try to convince him to move away from this place."

"Alright" Xaldin nodded curtly. "Demmy will go talk to him and let him know we're all leaving."

Demyx stared at him and nodded. "Okay" he sighed. "but should I leave by myself or is Xiggy going to leave with me?"

"Xigbar will leave first and after you tell him you can go, then Xaldin, and I'll leave last." Luxord nodded. "He'll be less likely to fight with me regarding the issue."

"Agreed." Xaldin nodded curtly then looked at Xigbar. "See you in another day or two."

"Will do man." He looked at Demyx see you at home.

"Alright" He nodded, placed a kiss on Xigbar's cheek, and watched as he vanished.

Xaldin nodded at Demyx. "Go to it boy and come get us if it gets out of hand."

"Okay" Demyx sighed deeply not looking forward to this conversation but it was for the best for Saïx's case.

xx

He slowly sat down onto the couch speechless; they were all leaving and leaving him here alone. How could they do this; not so much to him but to their Superior? Xemnas saved them and gave them what they all so longed for and now they were just abandoning him just like that? Was there no loyalty left in them for their leader?

"Saïx come with us." Demyx pleaded as he sat down next to him.

He slowly shook his head. "I can not. I will not abandon him."

Demyx sighed sadly. "Saïx he's not coming back." He shook his head. "Once you go into the darkness you can't come back you know that."

"I can't leave." He stared at the boy. "This is where I belong." He stood up. "May the life you choose be a happy one." He nearly growled before he left the room.

Demyx sat on the couch and watched Saïx go not really sure what he was supposed to do now. "He's not coming back." He whispered then vanished to let Luxord and Xaldin know what happened.

xx

"Don't worry boy we'll take care of it from here." Xaldin nodded at the rather downtrodden boy.

"You can't let him stay here by himself." Demyx shook his head. "It's too sad. Just thinking of him here all by himself with no one..." He frowned deeply.

Luxord patted him on the shoulder. "You did fine lad and like you said we can visit him whenever we want."

Demyx shook his head. "It won't be enough. He's starting to fall into despair already."

Xaldin pressed his lips together tightly. "Stubborn bastard." He growled deeply.

"Go home Demmy." Luxord nodded at the boy. "We'll make sure he's okay."

"Really?" He stared at the Gambler.

"Really" Luxord assured. He was going to make Saïx leave here even if that meant beating him over the head until he was unconscious and carrying him out slung over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

"Alright" He nodded. "but if you can; see if you can bring him home with you." He stared at Xaldin.

"I'll do what I can but no promises." He stared at the boy in a manner that said don't get your hopes up.

"Well hurry up so I know what happened." Demyx nodded at him then smiled at Luxord. "Will you come visit sometimes?"

"Promise." Luxord smirked with a small nod.

"Good" Demyx smiled back. "see you at home." He waved to Xaldin then vanished from sight.

Luxord looked at Xaldin and sighed. "I'll take him."

Xaldin arched a dark brow at him. "Why?"

"I have my reasons." He smirked.

"I see." He returned the smirk. "You get him out of here and I'll seal off the door back so he can't come home and dwell here."

"Perfect" He nodded. "let's go talk to him and get this nightmare over with."

"Nightmare is an understatement." Xaldin sighed and began walking down the hall towards the den where Saïx spent most of his time with a smirking Luxord right behind him.

xx

"No" Saïx growled.

"It's not an option." Luxord nodded at him. "You either go with Xaldin back to Hallow Bastion or you come with me."

Saïx stared at the blonde and narrowed his ambers deeply. "No" He again growled deadly.

"Saïx if we have to we will force you." Xaldin nodded curtly. "You can't take us both."

"Do not threaten me." He growled deadly.

"It's not a threat." Xaldin growled in return. "You ARE going to leave this place whether you want to or not."

Saïx opened his mouth to respond to that but was cut off by Luxord.

"Look Saïx there's nothing here for any of us anymore. It's time to move on with our lives we can't stay here letting time and life pass us by. If Xemnas comes back he'll go find Xaldin and Xigbar and they will come get us."

"I'm not leaving." He glared at him.

"You are." Xaldin nodded curtly. "And I mean it Saïx we will take you out of here by force if necessary. Now you can go with Luxord or myself willingly or we physically remove you. Your choice." He crossed his arms over his chest and stared hard at him.

"How about this instead." Luxord calmly drew their attention to him. "Saïx give it one year and if you absolutely decide you don't like it you can come back here and rot if that's what your heart desires. Deal?"

Saïx looked between the two of them not understanding why they even cared what he did or didn't do. Granted they were members of the Organization just like he was but they weren't close hell they barely ever talked to each other. "What I do is not your concern."

"It is when what you want to do is self-destructive." Luxord pointed out. "Now you can either go with Xaldin or you can come with me. We'll go anywhere you want just give it a year that's all we're asking."

Saïx pressed his lips together tightly as he stared between the two of them. He could see it all over their faces they weren't going to let this go and just leave him be they were going to make him leave no matter what he said. "One year." He growled as he stared at Xaldin.

"One year." He nodded back. "If after that time you decide you want to come back I'll open the door and you'll be free to do whatever you want."

"And if Xemnas comes back you'll be the first he comes and gets;" Luxord looked over at Xaldin. "right?"

"Right" Xaldin nodded as he maintained his stare upon the Berserker. "I'll make sure you're the first to know the second he comes home. So now all you have to do is decide do you want to come with me to Hallow Bastion where Demyx and Xigbar will be living or do you want to go with Luxord."

"Neither; I will go on my own." He growled and made to leave only to stop when Luxord placed his hand on his shoulder.

"Where?" He questioned with an arched brow. When Saïx just stared at him blankly he smirked. "That's what I thought." He sighed. "Look come with me and we'll travel around until you find a place that suits you. If not then when the year is up you can come back with no roots planted and nothing to leave behind."

"I'm not going to Port Royal." He growled.

"Nor am I exactly." Luxord nodded. "I purchased a ship and it's docked there so it's where we'll have to start."

"Ship?" Xaldin arched a brow at him.

"Not on the grand scale you're thinking of. No crew needed." He looked at Saïx. "So you don't need to worry about strangers bothering you. It'll be just the two of us."

"There you go." Xaldin nodded at him. "Peace and quiet; no one to bother you giving you time to think about what you want to do or where you want to go."

Well that didn't sound half bad peace and quiet with time to think about things. He could tolerate Luxord the man was rather quiet and never bothered him. No Xigbar and his stupid jokes or Demyx and his constant sitar playing. "A year?" He looked between the two men.

"A year." Xaldin nodded. "If after that you're still miserable and want to come back here I'll open the door for you."

He sighed deeply then gave a small curt nod. "One year." He nodded again then left the den to go to his room and get his things together.

"Are you sure about this?" Xaldin stared at the blonde man.

Luxord stared at the door Saïx disappeared through. "No" he smirked over at him. "but when a man knows what he wants he does what he can to get it."

"You're a braver man then me." Xaldin chuckled with a slap to his shoulder. "I'll give you two days." He nodded curtly.

"We won't need that long." Luxord walked towards the door. "As soon as he's ready we're leaving. You can close the door by tomorrow morning."

"Tomorrow morning then." Xaldin nodded then vanished in a swirl of darkness.

xx

"Well what do you think?"

Saïx looked at the boat and really didn't have much of an opinion on it. What did he know from a boat to a canoe other then one was bigger than the other. "It's a boat."

Luxord chuckled at that. "That it is." He picked up Saïx's bag and carried it aboard.

Saïx followed him up the gangplank and aboard the ship. It wasn't much as far as ships went but then again this was the first time he had ever been on a ship. He walked over to the door Luxord was holding open for him.

"It's not a grand suite like at home but it'll serve it purpose."

Saïx walked into the cabin and Luxord was right there wasn't much to it. A small kitchenette in the corner, a good sized table bolted to the floor in the center, a small desk against the back wall under the windows, and two king chairs in the corner with a small table between the two. "Do we sleep on the floor?"

Luxord chuckled at that. "No" He walked over to a small door just off the kitchen and opened it.

Saïx looked through the door and there it was a decent sized bed just big enough for two people to sleep comfortably with two small cabinets on either side which he assumed was for their clothes. "One bed." He stared at the Gambler pointedly.

"It's just for sleeping." He walked in and put Saïx's bag on the cabinet on left side of the room.

"Together." He said flatly as he looked back at the bed.

Luxord stepped up to him and leaned down next to his ear. "Unless you wish to sleep on the floor."

Saïx jerked away and glowered at him. "You can sleep on the floor. I didn't want to be here anyway."

"Are you going to even try to make a go of it?" He questioned with an arched brow.

He just stared at the taller man not really having an answer to that. No he didn't really want to try but a year was a long time to constantly fight against this change. "I didn't want to be here in the first place." He growled then turned and left the cabin.

Luxord shook his head and sighed deeply. "The first steps are always the hardest." He nodded to the empty room. "Lets just hope they get easier in time."

xx

Saïx stared at the man behind the wheel and drew his brows. "I do not know this world as well as you do so how would I know?"

"True" Luxord nodded and turned the wheel to the right to begin heading out to sea. "but just because you can't think of a name doesn't mean a place you would like to visit doesn't exist." He smirked at him. "Describe somewhere you would like to visit and lets see if we can't find a place like it."

He pressed his lips together tightly as he stared at him. "I know nothing of other lands other than the ones I've been to previously."

"Hmm..." He nodded at him. "alright lets try this then. Did anyone ever describe their real home to you?"

"Some" He nodded curtly.

"And of those who did did any stand out to you?"

Saïx thought about it for a long silent moment and sighed. "That doesn't leave a lot of options. Xemnas to Zexion we all know where they came from and have been there numerous times. Axel; he didn't remember where he came from so he picked Twilight Town as his home." He nodded curtly thinking that that's probably where number VIII disappeared to.

"Alright" Luxord agreed. "and no one is sure where you came from and as you know this is my home per se and we both know where Demyx comes from. We lack the necessary equipment to survive underwater to visit his home; leaving us with Marly's home, Larxene's home and I highly doubt you wish to go to a place similar to Roxas' home." He sighed deeply and looked over at him. "Or we could just sail along until we hit land and explore blindly."

Saïx looked to the horizon seeing nothing but sky touching water and really realized that he was free to go anywhere he wanted to go. "Marluxia"

"What about him?"

He turned back to the blonde man. "Marluxia described his home the best." He nodded. "I wish to go there or somewhere similar."

Luxord smirked at that. "France it is then."

"Marluxia didn't come from this world." He cocked his head to the side rather confused because Marluxia did in fact come from a land called France. "Did he?"

"I couldn't say for sure but there is a France in this world." He shrugged. "I think every world is very much the same in a sense. Here in this world there's a China and a France much the same as the other worlds we've been to. Perhaps all the worlds are the same and just exist on different planes of eternity. Or maybe they're all the same world only separated by vast oceans." He waved his hand towards the water. "We can't see the universe beyond our own sight so who can say what is or isn't out there."

He had never thought of it that way and found it to be interesting. To think that all this time they all could have been existing on the same world. "We could attempt to sail to Hallow Bastion and see if it is in fact the same world or not." He nodded at him though he was looking to the horizon.

Luxord smirked at that. "That we could." He nodded drawing his attention back to him. "We have a year to do as you please so as we explore this vast ocean we'll keep an eye out and see if we don't come across it. If so then you'll know we aren't as far apart as it seems."

"Closer to home." He nodded back.

_'This is home.'_ Luxord thought to himself. _'The sooner you realize it the happier you will be.'_

xx

Saïx stretched exhausted beyond all belief. He had no idea that sailing a ship was so much work and had he of known he would have took Xaldin up on his offer to go to Hallow Bastion instead.

He just couldn't fathom how Luxord would have sailed this vessel all by himself had he not come with him. Then again Luxord knew what he was doing and he himself was only learning. Granted Luxord didn't have him do some of the harder labor as far as pulling sails and the like but he did have him make sure everything was tied down and if not he had to tie it down securely. Some things needed to be moved around to make sure they could be tied down and then he had to tie the knot and tug on it as hard as he could to make sure it stayed tied.

Then once all of that was done he had to help Luxord drop anchor for the night which was a chore in and of itself or so it seemed to him anyway. Luxord kept checking it every few yards it dropped it into the water; he wasn't sure what he was checking for but whatever it was it was pissing him off. Why they just couldn't drop it and let it land where it may was beyond him.

Finally with all that done Luxord had charged him with cooking dinner for the two of them while he finished doing whatever it was he was doing. He hadn't realized how damn hungry he was until Luxord mentioned cooking dinner.

He wasn't as skilled as Xaldin in the area of cooking but he could manage well enough. Well... well enough to pull off a mean eggs and bacon with toast. He didn't care what it was he just wanted something in his empty growling stomach followed by falling face first into the bed and sleeping for the rest of eternity.

"Breakfast?" Luxord questioned as he entered the cabin. "A little late in the day for that isn't it?"

"Food is food and you either eat it or you don't and starve; your choice." Saïx bit out as he sat down at the table.

"Well so long as we don't have dinner for breakfast then I guess this is just as well as anything." He sat down across from the Berserker. "You do know how to cook more than eggs and bacon; don't you?"

"Grilled cheese and ramen." Saïx nodded curtly then took a bite of his eggs.

Luxord sighed deeply and shook his head. "I guess we'll have to take turns cooking."

Saïx snorted and got up when the pot of water started boiling. He grabbed it off the stove with a rag and set it on the table in front of the Brit then sat down and went back to eating his dinner.

"What's this for?" Luxord questioned as he stared at the pot.

"Tea; or did you give up the habit?" Saïx questioned with a slight draw of his brows.

"No but I wasn't expecting you to have water ready for me." He began making his cup of tea.

Saïx snorted at that. "All these years we've been in the same Organization you think I wouldn't know that? Especially after some of your more uncouth episodes about not having good English tea on hand?" He arched a blue brow at him.

"Uncouth?" Luxord stared at him slightly wide eyed. "I would hardly call making the mention that not all tea is the same and that that colored water from China is not the same uncouth."

"That's not how I remember it." He pointed at him with his fork and narrowed his ambers slightly. "As I recall you told Xaldin if he ever tries to feed you that _'colored water'_ again you would take his lances and shove them so far up his..."

"Alright alright." He cut him off with a small growl. "Point taken and thank you." He gave him a small bow of his head.

"For what?" Saïx stared at him.

"Remembering" He smiled at him. "and for helping with the ship. I know you don't have to nor do you want to but I appreciate it all the same."

Saïx snorted at that. "Tell me how would you do this without help?"

"That my dear Berserker is a secret of the trade." He took a sip of his tea.

Saïx grunted at that. "You would hire a crew."

"A crew would be too big for a ship this small." Luxord nodded as he cut his eggs up. "This ship was designed for short transports of simple goods. Trips that would only last a day or two so no need for bunks for the crew."

"If it was designed for short trips how can we sail it long distances? Will it handle such trips?"

Luxord smiled at that. "A ship is a ship and does what it was made for; sailing. If we were transporting goods I would say no it can't handle such long voyages but with just the two of us traveling the oceans it will more than do its job."

He always assumed that one boat was the same as another the only difference was the size. "What about being attacked by pirates or other sailors out there?"

"It's entirely possible and if we are I think with our powers we can handle it or we can just leave and let them have it." He shrugged. "We aren't exactly bound by the same rules as mortal men."

He couldn't disagree with that; having the power of darkness on your side did have its advantages. He opened his mouth to agree with his sentiment but fell silent when he suddenly locked his eyes onto the small shelf of books behind his companion. He watched as the books tipped from side to side with the movement of the boat and immediately began to feel his stomach start to churn.

"Saïx" Luxord snapped his fingers in front of his face. "ignore it."

Saïx shook his head and looked at him.

"That's how sea sickness happens." He shook his head curtly at him. "If you pay no mind to it it won't affect you."

Saïx nodded and stood up still feeling slightly nauseous and not very hungry anymore. "I'm going to go to bed."

"Hold" Luxord ordered and took Saïx's empty water cup, poured some hot water from the tea pot into it, dropped a small spoonful of sugar into the warm water, and stirred it. "Squeeze some lemon in this and drink it it will settle your stomach."

Saïx didn't question or argue just did as he was told. Once he finished the drink he cleaned his dishes and went into the bedroom to get changed and go to bed.

Luxord watched Saïx through the open door to the bedroom and smiled to himself. Things weren't going as nearly as bad as he imagined they would. He thought for sure it was going to be one fight after another with the Diviner about being here and wanting to constantly go back to the castle. Maybe his impression that Saïx was a very moody being was incorrect or maybe Saïx realized that he was on the losing end of the battle to leave their home and just submitted to his fate. Either way he had Saïx right where he wanted him and here was where he was going to keep him.

xx

Saïx opened his eyes when he felt a small weight settle on his side. He rolled his eyes down and spotted a lightly tanned arm draped over him with a large warm body pressed against his back.

What the hell was Luxord doing touching him? Did he just roll over and end up cuddled against him? That was most likely the case but even still he did not like the man touching him so familiarly. "Luxord" He growled wanting to get the man off of him.

That didn't help matters only caused the man to curl his arm tighter around his waist. He did not believe for a second Luxord was still asleep and was continuing to touch him unknowingly.

He grabbed him by the wrist and slung his arm off of him then rolled over and pushed Luxord away from him. "You're not fooling anyone." He growled.

Luxord smirked but didn't open his eyes. "Couldn't help myself." He rolled over onto his other side. "A nice warm body in bed with me."

"Do not do it again or you'll be sleeping on the floor." He bit out then rolled back over putting his back to the man.

_'Oh I'll do it again and every night we share a bed.'_ He smirked to himself then went back to sleep knowing full well by morning he would once again have his arms wrapped around his little Berserker.

xx

Saïx leaned against the rail on the side of the ship staring at the seemingly never ending body of water and sky in the horizon. Luxord had said they would arrive in France by no later than noon or so. He didn't know how the man knew this for as far as he could tell there was no land mass anywhere to be seen. Then again all he could do was take Luxord's word for it since he was a sailor and this was his first time sailing anywhere.

He didn't know how long they had been out sailing across the vast ocean and really he didn't care. If he didn't keep track of the days they would fly by quicker and before he knew it he would be back home; which where he'd rather be anyway.

Being out here with just him and Luxord on the ship wasn't so bad. Of course they would have their little disagreements as two people on a ship by themselves would. Yet for the most part things between them were companionable.

They would talk about this that or the other which usually would consist of Luxord telling him stories of his past and the crusades he made as a pirate. Other times they would try to work out where he may have come from with Luxord pretty set on thinking that he came from the Orient somewhere. He didn't agree or disagree with it just logged it as a possibility.

Sometimes they would talk about the past in the Organization and the others that were long gone and sometimes they would talk about Xemnas and if he was going to come back or not. Then other times they would just stay away from each other as much as possible to have time for their own thoughts on life and what they really wanted to do with it.

He still didn't know what he wanted beyond going home. Then again he had only recently started this journey and had yet to see anything beyond this little ship he was on. Maybe during his time sailing around this world he would find somewhere he loved so much he would want to stay there then again maybe not. He was willing to give it a chance either way because after all what other choice did he have beyond going to Hallow Bastion and staying there with Xaldin?

At least out here the scenery would change... well when they would land somewhere and there was no Demyx with his sitar or Xigbar and his stupid jokes. Yes of the two choices he was given this was by far the better one.

xx

"Well here we are." Luxord patted him on the shoulder.

Saïx looked around and cringed slightly. "It looks no different then Port Royal."

Luxord chuckled at that. "All ports look the same lad seeing as they all serve the same main purpose." He looked down at him. "To get a full feel of what France is all about we will have to travel beyond the docks and into the heart of the city or beyond to the country."

He glanced around at all the sailors moving around loading and unloading then looked at Luxord. "Is this where Marluxia was from?"

"Yes in a sense." He nodded at him. "Marly's home was a place similar to this but more from the heart of the city in his world. He came from what would you would call the elite high class and so you know Marluxia wasn't a _'he'_ before becoming Nobody."

He knew Marluxia was a girl in his previous life only few knew that and he was never clear if Marluxia knew that or not he would get rather testy about it when it was mentioned. "What does his sex have to do with anything?"

"Everything." Luxord nodded. "On Marluxia's world or this world if like we think they're all the same world he was a princess." He smirked at him. "Royalty; which explains his better then you and everyone around him attitude and the desire to overthrow Xemnas. He was raised with the belief of rights and entitlements and that belief stayed with him into his next life."

"So if we found his family we would know if he came from here or not." He looked at him.

Luxord arched a brow at him. "Is that what you want to do?"

"If we're here to explore the city we can ask questions and see what people know."

"We're not on a mission." Luxord pointed out. "We're here to visit and enjoy; a vacation."

Saïx narrowed his ambers deeply. "What is the big deal if we ask around about Marluxia's family? I am well aware that we're not here to work."

It suddenly clicked for him and he couldn't believe he never figured it out before. Saïx was a very curious person by nature; though he kept that side of himself very well hidden so people wouldn't think him to be stupid because he wanted to know stuff. Now knowing that things between he and the Berserker were going to go a hundred times smoother; not that they were all that bad off now. It would just make it easier to convince him to stay with him even when his year was up.

"There would be no big deal." He smiled at him. "We'll ask around and see if anyone knew Marluxia or rather Lumaria."

Saïx nodded curtly at that. If Marluxia was a princess in his previous life and they found his family in this world maybe during their travels they would find where he himself came from and his own family. That way he would have somewhere he could call home; HIS home.

"Come on then." Luxord nodded at him. "We're burning daylight."

Saïx nodded in return and followed him through the throngs of people heading away from the port and into the city.

xx

"I don't like wine." Saïx nodded curtly at him.

"You don't have to drink it." Luxord nodded back. "You can save it and let it age."

"For what purpose?"

Luxord stared at the bottle in his hand and shook his head. "Some things just get better with age." He smiled at him.

Saïx pressed his lips together. "If I don't like wine now what makes you think I would want it later?"

He put the bottle back onto the rack and stared at the Diviner. "Okay so what do you enjoy then?"

"Nothing that has to do with cheese, bread, or wine." He waved his hand around at the shop which sold only those three things.

"Well now we're getting somewhere." Luxord smirked and led him out of the shop.

"What are you talking about?" He questioned from behind the taller man.

Luxord walked across the cobblestone street towards a trinket shop. "I was thinking that you should get something from every place we visit. Something like a souvenir to remember all the things you've seen and done. Also since Demmy collects silver spoons as you know I figured I could pick some up for him from different places."

Saïx followed him into the store rather shocked that Luxord was taking the time to pick up spoons for Demyx's collection. Maybe that was what having a heart did for people it made them want to do things for others. He would have to analyze that feeling later and see what it was about but for now he would just look around the store and see what drew his attention since Luxord was so adamant that he gets a memento of their visit.

As he walked around the small shop he stopped in font of a beautiful chess set. All the pieces were made of crystal with a silver base for one side and gold for the other. The board itself seemed to be made of marble and onyx set on a cherry wood box with little drawers on the sides for the pieces.

"Do you like what you see?" Luxord questioned from over his shoulder.

He slowly nodded his head. "It's beautiful."

Luxord smirked then looked at the man running the shop. "He'll take the chess set."

Saïx spun around to face his companion. "I can't buy that." He hissed.

"You're not; I am." He smirked at him.

"I don't want you to buy it for me either." He growled as he stepped out of the way for the man to get to the chess set.

"Well I WANT to buy it for you." Luxord nodded. "Consider it a gift from me to you."

"Why?"

"You have nothing." He sighed deeply. "From the time we met when I joined the Organization I've never seen you acquire anything for yourself. The only thing ever given to you were those earrings..." He trailed off with a smirk when Saïx's eyes widened slightly.

"You!" He glared at him.

"Me" He nodded. "When you took your old earrings out to clean and lost them down the drain I thought you looked ridiculous without them so I replaced them for you. I knew you wouldn't get new ones for yourself because you never do anything for yourself."

"Why didn't you tell me?!" He growled.

"You wouldn't have taken them if I had." He turned to the man behind the counter. "Those too." He pointed to a silverware set. "Have them delivered to the Lady Luck; east dock."

Saïx reached up and touched the little diamond earring in his right ear. Luxord was right had the man told him he bought them for him he wouldn't have taken them.

"Also do you know of the missing princess Lumaria?"

"I'm sorry sir but the princess isn't missing." The man bowed his head sadly. "Princess Lumaria died some years ago under mysterious circumstances."

Luxord looked over his shoulder at Saïx and arched a brow at him. "Mysterious circumstances you say."

"Yes sir." The man leaned in and whispered like some evil was lurking close by just waiting to devour him. "It was strange they found her body in the shadows of her precious garden; her heart had been taken right from her bosom." He shook his head and widened his eyes hugely. "But there were no signs that her chest had been cut to remove her heart. It was almost as if someone or something reached down her throat and stole it."

"Interesting." Luxord nodded and smirked over at Saïx who snorted in return at the man's story. "You have been very helpful." He nodded at the man. "Thank you." He turned to Saïx and led him out of the shop. "Well there you have it Marluxia did come from this world. That story is too much of a coincidence for it not to be him."

Saïx nodded in agreement. "So that would mean Hallow Bastion could be out there somewhere on this world with Xigbar, Demyx, and Xaldin there."

"Most likely." Luxord nodded. "You want to try to find your home?"

Saïx looked up at him and drew his brows deeply. "Where would we begin? Xemnas found me floating in the darkness with no link to a world like everyone else except for Axel. We were the only two who didn't know where we came from."

"True" He agreed. "but that doesn't mean we can't look around and ask about beings similar to you. Just as yourself now you could be from anywhere but throw your Berserker ability into the mix and that changes the game completely."

"That was a power given to me by Xemnas." He pointed out.

"Yes and the powers Xemnas gave us all came from what we once were or enjoyed. From the soul." He nodded pointedly and placed his hand flat against his own chest feeling the beating of his heart within. "Whatever was left over inside us is what provided us with our powers. Xemnas only made the ability available for us to tap into and use at will. So you see the clue is in your power we only have to find others who suspect they have the power you do and we'll find where you most likely came from."

"That makes no sense." He shook his head. "Just because I have an affinity for the moon doesn't mean there is a whole culture out there that believes the moon can draw out secret powers. Not all people who are gamblers believe the cards give them power like you."

"Clever" Luxord smirked. "but my theory at the very least gives us a starting point. I'm still certain you came from the Orient and I think we'll work our way that way from here making stops in other lands like Italy, Greece, Egypt..." He waved a hand though the air. "The world is ours to do with as we will."

"Why do you keep saying that? There is no proof I come from the Orient." He followed the man when he began walking down the sidewalk.

"And there is no proof you didn't." He looked over at him when he came to walk next to him. "However there are rumors of demons that change forms and are just as deadly as you in those lands and more often then not the moon is the trigger point in their powers."

"Are you certain?" He questioned with a furrow of his brows. "I've been to China maybe the China on this world maybe not but either way I've never heard anything like that."

"That's because most of the rumors come from Japan not China. China is more known for dragons not demons." He shrugged. "We'll just have to wait until we get there to find out for certain; won't we?" He smiled over at him. "Now lets get some lunch then we'll do some more shopping or whatever you want to do for the rest of the day before heading back to the ship unless you would rather stay in the city for the night."

"No too many people." He cringed; if truth were to be known he actually liked it on the boat. Peace and quiet just him and the vast freeness of the world. Even with Luxord there with him it wasn't as bad as he imagined it was going to be with the Gambler and he was actually beginning to enjoy being out and away from the castle... a little anyway.

xx

Saïx watched as Luxord pulled the heavy rope his muscles flexing and straining to pull the sail up. His flawless skin glistened with a sheen of sweat in the morning sun. Luxord looked every bit the pirate, the tattoos, the earrings, the shelled necklace, pants rolled up to his knees, shoeless, sun bleached hair peeking out from under the blue bandanna tied around his head, and tanned from head to toe.

Looking at him now he was a far cry from the classy refined Brit he was so accustomed to back at the castle. He could easily picture Luxord here in his previous life sailing around the world sword in hand, cannons at the ready, dominating the sea like any true pirate dreams of doing.

How it must feel for him to be back where he comes from; his true life... home.

He sighed deeply and looked out to the horizon wondering if his home was out there somewhere waiting for his return. Was it indeed the Orient or was he from some other world a different world with a different set of rules? What it must feel like to know who you are or were at heart.

"What's on your mind?"

He looked over at him when he leaned against the railing he was sitting on. "Home"

Luxord drew his brows slightly. "Home? The castle?"

He looked back out to the horizon. "My real home."

"Ah..." He smirked, turned, and leaned on the railing staring at the same horizon Saïx was looking at. "if you don't have a home to remember then you have nothing to forget. You can make anywhere you want your home that's the beauty of having the world at your finger tips."

"Spoken like a true pirate." He smirked over at him.

Luxord smiled back. "It's who I am at heart."

Saïx stared at him for a long silent moment before he looked back to the horizon. "At heart." He whispered and placed his hand to his chest to feel the steady beating and make sure it was still there. "If only mine knew what it really was."

He grabbed his hand from his chest forcing him to lock stares with him. "You hold you heart here." He turned his hand face up so he could see his palm. "Whatever you want your heart to be you are free to decide."

Saïx looked from him to his hand and back again. "If your heart was an open book would you change the story?"

"I can not say." He gently stroked his thumb across the palm of Saïx's hand. "My heart has always known what it is and I have never been anything other than what I am; even as a Nobody." He continued to gently stroke his palm. "This is all I know." He smiled at him. "But if I were free to decide where to lay my heart I would explore all options and pick the one that pleased me the most." He smiled at him then brought his hand up to his lips and placed a kiss in the center.

Saïx jerked his hand back, curled his fingers into a fist, and held it protectively against his chest. "What are you doing?" He questioned with a growl as he stared at him though his brows were drawn deeply; confused by his actions.

"Giving you options." He smiled at him then directed his attention elsewhere to keep him from being all _'Saïx'_ about it. "Would you like to break in your new chess set and take your mind of things for awhile?"

He slowly nodded his head. Playing chess would help him clear his head and allow him to analyze why Luxord did what he did. No one had ever done anything like that to him before and he wasn't quite sure how to handle it. It made him feel strange; he didn't like it but at the same time he did. What was this new feeling, did it have a name, and if so what was it?

It was going to take some thought to figure it out and a distracting game of chess would clear his head to do just that.

xx

"What is it?" He stared at the little silver box in Luxord's hand.

"Something I picked up for you in France." He smiled at him and opened the box.

"Earrings?" He drew his brows as he stared up at him. "But I already have earrings." He touched one in his ear to show him.

"True but what's wrong with having more?" He closed the box and held it out to him causing him to take it from him. "You can start a collection of earrings even if you never wear them. We can pick you up a set from every land we visit. Diamonds from Port Royal... " He nodded towards him then looked at the box in his hand. "Sapphires from France and... " He reached into his pocket and withdrew another silver box. "Italian emeralds."

Saïx set the silver box in his hand down on the table, took the newest box from his hand, and opened it. Sure enough there were two little studded earrings with little green stones set into the gold studs. Where was Luxord getting the money for these things?

He furrowed his brows then looked up at him and decided that it was better if he didn't know because he was either gambling to get money which meant he was doing a lot of cheating to win as per his M.O. or he was thieving. He was strongly leaning towards the former and hoping he was right. "Why are you doing these things for me?"

"Because I want to." He smiled at him. "And when we land in Greece you'll have topaz, Egypt, onyx, China, pearls." He reached up and trailed the backs of his fingers along his cheek. "Only the best will ever do for you." He placed a small kiss on his lips then smiled at him and left the cabin to steer them towards Greece.

Saïx stared at the closed door Luxord vanished through with his fingers to his lips and drew his brows deeply. What was Luxord doing to him? All the touching, buying him things; expensive things, the comments, and cuddling with him at night when they would sleep.

The sleeping thing he was used to after so many nights together. So he paid no mind to it when he would wake up and find himself wrapped up in Luxord's arms or curled up against the man's broad back and even on occasion atop him. Yet now he was doing things to him he didn't understand and they made him feel strange inside.

He didn't know how to describe the feelings inside him. Where they good ones or bad? Should he tell Luxord to stop doing those things or encourage him to do it more? Oh how he wished there was someone he could talk to about these feelings and know what they meant so he would know how to handle them.

There was only one thing he was sure of and that was he was deeply confused and he wasn't sure what to do so he wasn't so confused anymore. "Xemnas I wish you would come home so you can tell me what is going on." He whispered to himself as he stared down at the earrings in his hand.

xx

Saïx drew his brows as he inhaled deeply. What was that smell? Whatever it was it smelled damn good and he was going to find out what it was because it was making his stomach rumble madly.

"Where are you going?" Luxord questioned as he followed the Diviner.

"I have to find out what that is." He nodded and stopped at the corner trying to decide which way to turn to lead him to the origins of the wonderful smell.

"What what is?" He drew his own brows as he watched the being next to him.

"I don't know." Saïx answered. "Whatever it is its around here somewhere; I can smell it. Cinnamon, honey, and..." He drew his brows further. "nuts?"

Luxord suddenly smirked at that. "Ah..." He nodded and smiled at him. "What you smell is that place." He pointed towards a little café a few buildings down from where they were standing. "Baklava."

"What's baklava?" He drew his brows further and began walking towards the café. Whatever it was he had to try it.

"Well..." Luxord followed after him. "it's a flaky sweet bread or something along those lines."

"Is it good?" He stopped in front of the building and inhaled deeply of the bakery sweet smell.

"It's an acquired taste I suppose." He shrugged. "Come on lets get some and see if it's something you would like."

Saïx followed him inside and sat down at an empty table while Luxord got the food for them. He looked down at the wooden plate Luxord set on the table between them. "What are those?" He pointed at the swirled 'S' shaped cookie like things.

"Butter biscuits."

"That looks nothing like a biscuit." He nodded curtly.

"Right" He smirked. "a term you would be more familiar with would be cookie."

He stared at the plate with brows still drawn deeply. "So if baklava is a cookie what are those?" He pointed to the little golden squares with nuts on top.

"No that's baklava." He nodded. "I'm not much for it so I ordered the biscuits as well."

"Why don't you like it?" He stared up at him. "Is it bad?"

"No" He gave a small shake of his head. "like I said it's an acquired taste. Perhaps you will like it perhaps not; until you try it you won't know."

Saïx picked up one of the little squares and noted it to be very sticky. He didn't like that at all; he hated his hands and fingers to feel dirty or sticky. This baklava stuff wasn't off to a good start.

Luxord arched a blonde brow and nodded at the woman when she set down two cups of tea in front of them on a tray with two small bowls of water and two cloths. "Thank you." He smiled at her and turned back to Saïx. "Well?" He questioned when he swallowed his bite.

"I'm not sure. It's almost too sweet but not."

"Honey" Luxord shrugged. "it's never the same consistency for sweetness but the question here is; do you like it?"

"I could tolerate it." He shrugged. "Not on a day to day basis though."

"Well we can come back once in awhile so you can have it again if you would like or we could take some to Xaldin and see if he could figure out how to make it." He picked up one of the cookies.

"No" He gave a small shake of his head and finished the piece he had in his hand. "returning now and again would be fine." He dipped his fingers in the water to wash the honey off then dried them on the cloth.

Luxord took a sip of his tea to hide the smile that threatened to break out on his lips when Saïx talked about returning every now and again. He thought for sure he was going to tell him that this was the last time they would be here because after his year was up he was going back home. He then had to wonder if Saïx knew how long they had been gone already. When it came right down to it Saïx only had four more months or so before his year was up. Of course he wasn't going to tell him that but it would be interesting to know how long he thought he had left.

Actually his time would be up long before they made it to China since he was going to take the long way to get there dragging the trip out for a few extra months to avoid the northern winter. Instead of cutting through Malaysia he was going to sail them south cutting them north along Australia then up. Though Saïx did want to know if the Orient was his home so he would most likely stay until they reached the land of the rising sun but would he stay after that?

"So after here where are we going next?"

He set his tea cup down and smiled at him. "I was thinking you would like to see the ancient pyramids in Egypt or since we're close enough and it's another land that you could possibly be from..." He smirked when he stared slightly wide eyed at him.

"What do you mean another land I could be from?"

"Well..." He ran his fingers across his chin in thought. "it's another one of those lands where rumors of beings similar to you originate from."

"What's it called?"

"Romania" He sighed thoughtfully. "though most of the rumors out of there are more on the mythical side." He nodded. "Such as vampires and the like. It more like a Halloween Town but not as dark and dreary."

"Vampires?" He shook his head. "I know for certain that that's not me."

"True but what harm could it bring; unless you absolutely do not want to go there and if not we can just remain on our course and head for Egypt from here."

Saïx stared at him as he tried one of the cookies. "How long until we reach the Orient?"

Luxord shrugged. "It mostly depends on the weather. With clear skies and clear sailing I'd say about six, seven months."

"Six or seven months?" He questioned slightly wide eyed.

"Well how long did you think it would take?"

"A few months at most." He shrugged lightly.

So bad he wanted to ask him how long he thought they've been gone. "The world is a big place and it takes time to get to where you want to go."

"How long has it taken us to get here?"

He wanted to kick himself for leading him into that question but answered with a question of his own. "How long do you think we've been gone?"

"Four or five months." He shrugged.

Luxord nodded at him. "Well if it takes us six or seven months then no need to worry; right?"

"I suppose." He nodded and fingered a corner of the drying cloth.

He arched a blonde brow at him. "What?"

"I was just thinking what would happen if I found my home; what would I do then?"

"Whatever you want to do." Luxord nodded at him. "Saïx this is your life to do with as you please. Don't let what we were hold you back from living life." He leaned forward and grabbed his hand. "Remember your life is here." He pressed his thumb gently into his palm. "If you let your past control you then your not truly living and Xemnas gave you your heart for nothing."

Saïx stared at his pale hand held in the tanned hand of his companion. "I don't tan." He muttered to himself shocked that that's the only thing that came to his mind.

Luxord looked up at him. "What?"

"I don't tan." He said again and turned his hand over in his. "See"

Luxord looked at the contrast between them and smirked at that. "Interesting; maybe your kind doesn't have the pigment in your skin to tan."

"Possibly" He nodded and continued to stare at the contrast between them. Maybe he didn't come from any world at all; maybe just maybe he was made from the parts of others left behind.

He didn't like that thought; he would much prefer to think himself from some world they have yet to find than just some being found in the darkness. He looked up at the blonde who was gently caressing the back of his hand. "Can we go?"

"If you want." He nodded and released his hand. "Did you decide where you want to go next?"

"The Orient." He nodded curtly. "I want to know if that's my home."

Luxord sighed deeply and nodded back at him. "If that's what you really want."

Saïx nodded his head. "It is."

"Alright" He nodded back. "we'll finish getting supplies and then we'll leave. After..." He pulled a silver box from his pocket and slid it across the table.

Saïx took the box, opened it, and stared at the little earrings inside with the lightly pink tinted stones. "What are they?" He questioned as he looked up at the Brit.

"Topaz" He smiled at him, packed up their leftovers into a cloth, and stood up.

"Why do you keep doing this?" He looked up at him.

"Because I can. Now come along so we can get going. If we're going to leave I would like to have the ship out of port before sunset."

xx

Saïx opened the cabinet to put his clothes away and stared at all the little silver boxes sitting at the bottom in the corner. Every port they stopped in Luxord bought him new earrings bringing his collection up to a grand total of ten.

Rubies, sapphires, jades, emeralds, diamonds... He was sure Luxord was going to make sure he had every rare stone in earring form imaginable; but why? Why was it so important to him that he has a souvenir from every land they set foot on?

Luxord was an enigma to him and one he was struggling to understand. All the touching, the promises, making sure he had everything he ever needed or wanted not that he wanted all that much but it didn't matter. Whether he wanted it or needed it Luxord made sure he had it including things he didn't know he wanted or needed.

He could only wish he understood emotions better so he would know what was causing Luxord to do these things for him. Was he doing it because of friendship, companionship, lust, love or was there some other reason for his actions? Maybe he should talk to him and find out why he was doing the things he was doing for him.

He put his clothes away then headed up to the deck to talk to him and to find out why he was going through so much trouble for him when it wasn't necessary.

xx

He found Luxord lying on the rail staring up into the darkening sky watching the stars come out.

"Do you know what today is?" Luxord questioned without looking at him.

Saïx just stared at him. No he didn't know what day it was today; he had completely lost track of time since they left.

"Today is your one year anniversary away from home." He turned to lock stares with him. "The day you could return to the castle if you so wanted."

Blue brows drew deeply as he stared at the man lying on the railing. "Are you certain?"

"Aye" Luxord nodded and grabbed his hand. "do you want to go back?"

"I..." He stared at his hand being held by his large calloused warm one.

"Saïx" He locked stares with him. "do you know the meaning of the term; home is where the heart is?"

He gave a small curt shake of his head still staring at his hand held by his and watched as he placed it against his warm chest to feel the steady beating of his heart. What was this about?

Already his insides were a twitter of nerves and he didn't know why. This wasn't the first time Luxord had held his hand for that matter Luxord made sure they touched like this on a daily basis (several times a day) but something about this time was different. This time he could sense that Luxord was going to change everything about their relationship and he was going to have an important decision to make.

"It means wherever your heart is the happiest is where you belong." He looked up at him as he squeezed his hand gently. "Are you happy here with me?"

Was he?

Ever since he left the castle with Luxord his mind wasn't tormented with a need to find purpose now that he was a whole being. He wasn't pining away at home waiting for Xemnas to come back and tell him what to do.

Here with Luxord he had seen so many things; things he never dreamed even existed. They had found Marluxia's real home, they had acquired all kinds of little trinkets from places they had been his most favorite being the chess set Luxord bought him. He had earrings from every land they visited bought just for him and according to Luxord he would have many more should they sail the whole world.

And Luxord... he thought for sure being stuck with Luxord on a boat for a year was going to be the most miserable thing next to being stuck with Demyx and his sitar.

He was wrong.

Luxord was easy to talk to, was a good chess player, and had no real expectations out of him other than making sure they were both fed and had clean clothes to wear. He didn't mind the cooking and cleaning it was after all the least he could do since the man was more or less taking care of him.

They had spent many a nights talking about the past in the Organization, Marluxia's treachery to overthrow Xemnas and why he did it, which world Larxene might have come from, and so many other things pertaining to the Organization. Then sometimes they would talk about the places Luxord had seen or the things he had done before he became a Nobody. Luxord had been everywhere; seen it all and done it all. Oh how he wished he had memories to pass along to him in return but there was nothing to tell.

He was a Nobody in the past and he was a Nobody now but now Luxord was opening his eyes to the possibilities of who he could be or where he could go. So was he happy here with him?

"Yes" He nodded at him.

Luxord slowly sat up so Saïx was standing between his bent legs and gripped his hand tighter against his chest to keep him from pulling away. "Stay with me." He looked up at him. "Whether we find your real home or not."

"Why?" He questioned with a slight quiver to his whispered voice and was shocked that he sounded so... scared? Was that the right word to describe how he was feeling inside? All these strange tingly feelings; were they fear? If so why were people so afraid of fear when it seemed to feel rather good?

"I want you to." He moved his hand from his chest, to his lips, and laid a hot kiss to the center of his palm. "Say yes." He whispered then reached up with his free hand, gripped him gently by the side of the neck, and pulled him down so they were eye to eye.

Saïx stared into those blue eyes and could see Luxord's desire for him swirling deep with in them. He didn't know if it was love or lust or what but what he did know was that he did like being here with him. "Yes" He gave a small nod of his head.

Luxord smiled at that. "Good" He whispered back then gently pressed their lips together slowly working Saïx's mouth open by sucking on his bottom lip. He let go of Saïx's hand, reached up, placed his hand on the other side of his neck, and forced his head to the side when he pressed his tongue deep into his hot mouth.

The feeling of Luxord's tongue in his mouth was strange but it felt nice; never mind the tingly feelings shooting up his spine. He wanted to melt right there; he wasn't sure why he felt that way but he definitely liked it and wanted to feel it more.

Luxord slowly stood up making sure to keep their mouths working and moved his hands down to Saïx's hips. He gripped the thin white shirt he was wearing and began pulling it free from his pants to get at the pale skin beneath.

He then slowly ran his hands up his sides pushing the shirt up and when it was bunched around his chest he pulled away from him breaking their kiss.

Saïx stared at him with glazed over ambers trying to comprehend why he stopped kissing him only to easily figure it out when Luxord forced his arms up to take his shirt off. He nearly gasped when Luxord wrapped his powerful arms around him and held him tight against his chest the heat of his body searing him to his core.

Why was Luxord's body always so hot? Was he absorbing the rays of the sun into his flesh? That was another thing he noticed about him; they never needed blankets on their bed because Luxord's body heat kept them both warm. Even on occasion he had to scoot as far away as possible from his body because it was just too damn hot.

He wrapped his arms around his hot body; inhaling in his scent which always consisted of sweat and sea water. Luxord always smelled like the ocean like the water itself was flowing though his veins. Maybe that's what being on the ocean for so long did to a being they started to become what they loved inside and out.

He wouldn't say he loved the ocean but he did enjoy being out here; free and away from the darkness of the castle. Actually he was glad that Luxord and Xaldin forced him to leave even if at the time he really didn't want to go.

"Saïx"

Saïx tilted his head further to the side when Luxord whispered his name against his ear.

"Do you know what love is?" Luxord questioned against his ear as his fingers toyed with the waistband of his pants.

"No" He whispered back again hearing that shiver in his own voice. He hated how it sounded yet he could feel there was an anticipation building between them making the sound of his voice a minute issue at the moment.

Luxord smirked against his ear. "It means to want to be with someone so much you would do anything for them to make them happy." He moved his lips down to his neck and gave a small nip upon his flesh. "It also means to join as one body and soul." He kissed his way back to his mouth bringing their lips together. "I'm going to make love to you tonight so you and I will become united as one and you'll be mine forever."

"You love me?" He questioned with a slight draw of his brows. He knew of the notion of love but never fully understood its reasoning.

"Aye" He sucked lightly upon his bottom lip. "for sometime now." He whispered then buried his tongue deep into his hot cavern.

Luxord suddenly pulled away, spun him around so his back was pressed against his chest, and gripped him by the hips pulling him back against the hard tight bulge in his pants. "Saïx" He whispered again and placed hot kisses along his creamy neck.

Saïx felt a tingle run up his spine when Luxord's lips sucked along the length of his neck to his shoulder. He couldn't help but reach back and grasp his hips tightly when his powerful hands worked his pants open then slid down across his stomach slipping inside and lightly trailing his fingers along his rigid length.

So bad he wanted to take him here under the stars but where? He didn't want to bend him over the side like he was a whore, or take him on the deck like this was just some spur of the moment event, and he didn't want to take him in cabin because that was inside. Then again he could let Saïx decide where he wanted his first time to be so he would remember it always. "Do you wish..." He started with a hard suck along the curve of his neck and shoulder leaving behind a light red hickey. "for me to make love to you here or inside?"

Saïx stared into the dark sky at the stars twinkling above as the crescent moon peeked over the horizon. "Here" He whispered breathlessly.

"As you wish." He placed a hot kiss on his neck then pulled away from him. "I shall return."

Saïx turned and watched as Luxord disappeared into their cabin and wondered just what he was doing only to have an answer when he suddenly reappeared with the blankets from their bed.

Luxord spread the blankets down on the wooden deck then kneeled down upon them and held his hand out to him. "How's this?"

A small smirk pulled on his lips as he slipped his hand into his and let him pull him down onto the blankets. "It will suff..." He was cut off when Luxord covered his mouth with his own and took him down onto his back covering him with his hard hot body.

He touched and stroked his body while working his mouth lovingly with his own tongue caressing the planes of muscle along his chest. He broke the kiss and worked his way down finding a nipple that demanded he pay homage to while he tweaked the other so it wouldn't feel left out.

Saïx arched his back sharply against the feel of his teeth gently biting his little nub while his fingers worked the other with small pinches. He couldn't help but tangle his fingers into his platinum hair and try to pull him closer wanting to feel him inside his suddenly searing hot body so they would be one whole being together. Was this what made people love; this overwhelming feeling of need to have the person you're with become a part of you? If it was he wanted to become one with Luxord just as much as he seemed to want join as one with him.

He released the little nub between his teeth with one last lick deciding there was something more enticing poking him in the stomach within Saïx's pants that needed his undivided attention. He nipped and licked his way down and smirked when his stomach muscles fluttered against the small nips he was placing upon his flesh before he continued on his downward path.

Once he was between his legs he sat up to make quick work of Saïx's pants leaving his little beauty sprawled out before him ready for the taking. Saïx had a dangerous allure about him that made him seem unattainable sparking the challenge within him to take him and make him his forever.

Then once he gained his heart the first thing he felt was love on a scale he could never remember feeling when he was a _'somebody'_ and that feeling was for Saïx. Every time he would look into those golden eyes his stomach would tighten in need for him so he decided that he would do whatever it took make the Diviner his and his alone.

Saïx watched though cracked lids as Luxord leaned down between his spread legs, put his hands on his hips, and nip enticingly upon his inner thighs teasing him until he had his hands fisted tightly into the blankets as he moaned deep in his throat wanting... He wasn't quite sure what it was but whatever it was he was sure Luxord could give it to him.

He gave a hard suck upon his inner left thigh leaving a large red mark then moved to his hard length. Saïx arched his back when he wrapped his lips around the tip of his hard manhood and slid his mouth down the length of him causing a guttural moan to tear from his lips.

He released his death like grip on the blankets and tangled his fingers into his platinum hair giving it a sharp pull when Luxord gave a particularly long hard suck upon him. A deep pleasurable groan erupted from his lips as his eyes rolled back into his head in pleasure.

Then suddenly his eyes snapped wide only to roll back into the back of his head when he felt Luxord's finger slick and wet with he didn't know what push at his tight opening and slide right in causing tingles of intense pleasure to shoot up his spine. The tongue, the finger, his oh so incredibly hot mouth, a sudden second finger, a wave of heat, a third finger; he was sure he was going to die from intensity overload and he didn't care in the least if he did.

He bent his knees giving him some leverage and attempted to lift his hips so that he could thrust up and bury himself deep into Luxord's oh so hot mouth. It was a wasted attempt as the large hands on his hips held him in place. He was surely on the verge of going mad from all the pressure building up within him and would do so if he didn't release soon.

Luxord could feel that Saïx was coming close to his release and slowed down his assault upon him much preferring him to cum when he was buried deep within his heat. He pulled himself free completely of his sweet little Diviner, stripped off his own pants, and prepped himself so as not to cause him much pain before he covered him with his body once more.

He grabbed his hand, laced their fingers together, and brought the tips to his lips and gave a sensual suck placing his hand above his head and holding it there. His other arm slid under his back arching his torso up towards him so that the flat of their stomachs were pressed together. "You belong to me." He whispered then placed his lips upon his, slipped his tongue deep into his hot cavern, and dominated the opposing tongue.

He rocked his hips causing his length to rub against his entrance. So bad he wanted to plow himself deep inside that hot, deep, tight cavern but had to restrain himself it was Saïx's first just as much as it was his own in the sense of being a whole being anyway.

Saïx moaned deeply at the feel of the hard length gliding against him. He wanted… no needed Luxord to lead him to his fulfillment. He used his free hand to clench into his fleshy cheek and pulled him closer. Luxord's heat was unbearable but at the same time he couldn't get enough and wanted to melt right there. What was happening to him? He needed to know to find that answer that would make it either go away or if possible more intense.

Luxord broke the kiss and stared down at Saïx's face causing deep glazed over ambers to stare back at him. "Saïx it may hurt at first but trust me it won't hurt for long."

Saïx stared up at him not exactly comprehending what it was he was talking about. Hurt? What might hurt? Thus far nothing hurt... well not in the painful sense anyway.

"Trust me." Luxord nearly pleaded. He needed confirmation that he would trust him before he could go further otherwise he would end it all here and now.

What Luxord was asking him was far more than just a physical connection of their union. He wanted him to trust him deeply, emotionally, physically, with all his new gained heart he wanted his trust and he could do nothing but give a small nod in return. "Yes"

"Yes" He smiled back at him knowing full well that this deep trust Saïx had just given him was the gateway to what he really wanted... his love. He pressed their lips together as he lined up his length and began very slowly pressing it into his tight cavern stopping when he would feel his love tense beneath him and continue on when he would relax until he was seated deep within his searing heat.

Saïx dug his fingers into Luxord's hip while the fingers of his other hand clenched tightly around the fingers they were locked with. It was painful a little, only to ease into a small burn then the pain then the burn until he could feel Luxord buried deep within him filling him to his limits. He was so deep in him and so hot he couldn't tell pain from pleasure and didn't care which was which anymore he just wanted this tightening within his body to end.

Luxord moaned against the feeling of his muscles contracting tightly around him and couldn't take sitting still a second longer. Rolling his hips he hit the sensitive spot within and was rewarded with a deep moan from the being under him.

Saïx arched his head back in blissful agony each time Luxord glided deep into him causing bolts of intense pleasure to course through his body. This pleasure was nothing like anything he had ever experienced not that he had much experience in the realm of pleasure but he was sure no matter what something like this was something he would definitely remember; past life or no.

His locked fingers tightened even more around Luxord's with every roll of his hips. His free hand fisted into the sheets at his side tightly, he pressed his feet hard against the floor, and rose up meeting each one of his slow thrusts into his body.

Luxord leaned in and nipped and licked along his neck working his way over to his pulse point where he began sucking and licking upon the tender spot. He then lifted up to watch his face so that he could see each expression of newfound pleasure cross his beautiful features. He thrust a little faster and harder and was rewarded with a deep deep moan from his Diviner along with his legs wrapping themselves around his waist squeezing tight against him in an attempt to pull him even deeper inside.

He leaned down and nipped upon his upper lip causing gold eyes to snap open, his head to lift, and his tongue to slip out trying to seek entrance into his mouth. Luxord kept his distance only slightly, as their tongues swirled against one another. It wasn't long until he powered his way into Saïx's mouth and dominated him. Once again he picked up the pace of his movements as well as adding a bit more power to his thrusts getting even deeper into his tight body. He didn't want to rush this he wanted to drag this out as long as possible even if it took him all night and well into the next day. Saïx was his to do with as he pleased and this was pleasing him beyond fathomable reason.

He broke the kiss and rolled them over so that his sweet tight body was astride his. He tried to jerk his hand free of the fingers locked around his and found that Saïx wasn't going to let go. So instead he let him use his grip for leverage for each one of his rise and falls upon his length.

Saïx dropped his head back and groaned in bliss when Luxord wrapped his fingers around his hard length and began stroking up and down. He didn't know what was happening to him this was so new and so overpowering he was sure that Luxord was building him up to something that would surely bring about his demise and he didn't care in the least if he did die. All the sensations coursing through his body were just too damn good to care about anything other than feeling them all.

He placed his free hand behind him on his muscled thigh as Luxord brought the fingers of his other hand to his lips and sucked on each digit. He needed more… a lot more. So he jerked his hand free of the Luxord's grasp, placed that hand on his other thigh, and began riding him hard and fast trying to force him as deep into him as he could possibly get.

Luxord released his length, placed both his hands just above his waist and sat up causing him to bend back even further and wrapped his lips around a nipple. He sucked and pulled on the little bud pulling deep guttural moans from his perfect pink lips. He kissed his way up to his ear laving a trail of saliva all the way. "Become mine in every way." He growled in his ear before giving it a hard suck upon the pointed tip.

Saïx brought his hands up and tangled his fingers into his silky soft sun bleached hair upon the back of his head and growled deeply in response. He was so close to this... this... he didn't have a name for it but he could his blood was pumping furiously through his veins causing him to burn from the inside out leading up to something he was sure was going to kill him on the spot.

Luxord slipped his hands under his arms, trailed his fingers up his back, and curved them over his shoulders pulling him down upon him in order to get as deep as he possibly could. His lips went to his neck where he nipped sharply leaving behind little red welts adding to the little red spots dotting Saïx's creamy flesh.

A deep groan rumbled through his chest, he arched his back almost painfully so, he jerked harshly upon the hair tangled in his fingers, and finally reached his world ending explosion. He was sure he was dying at that very moment and was glad to do so so the heat would finally come to an end.

Luxord rumbled his own groan against his creamy sweat covered skin as his inner muscles clenched around him so tightly he was forced into his own euphoria. As his seed spilled deep into his new love he thrust up into him a few more times just for the sake of feeling him grip around his hard length.

He fell down onto his back with his arms wrapped tightly around Saïx's hot body the both of panting hard as they came down from their high. He stroked his fingers through his blue hair and smiled when Saïx nuzzled his face into his neck.

"I know of the notion of love but never understood why so many would die for it." He whispered against Luxord's neck.

Luxord smiled as he stared up into the dark sky dotted with the twinkling of the stars. "But now you do."

"Now I do." He nodded lightly with a small smile on his lips. "I would die for it... for you." He whispered the last part as he let his ambers close in exhaustion.

Luxord barely heard what he said and felt his breath hitch when he fully processed what he had said. Then again he knew that when Saïx found something he liked whether it be a false sense of like as a Nobody or the real sense as a Somebody it wasn't just some short term thing. With Saïx it was all or nothing there was no room for part time investment or interest. Which meant they were both in it for the long haul.

xx

From that day on things between he and Saïx were better then he could have ever imagined them to be. Saïx was becoming a regular little house wife though the first time he said that to him Saïx did give him a fat lip. He didn't care he deserved it and in the end it did nothing but make Saïx worry over him while grumbling that it was his own fault for saying such stupid things.

Even still he would say it again if he thought he could get away with it but didn't want a complete throttling from him. Besides he knew enough to know that you never messed with the person that cooked your food. Granted Saïx still had a lot to learn when it came to cooking but they weren't starving... though he was a little tired of breakfast three times a day or ramen and grilled cheese twice a day with a breakfast thrown in there for good measure.

Maybe he could shoot over to Xaldin's and get a cook book or something for him to learn to cook or he could just call him mother and get hit again saving himself a trip. He smiled over at him watching him hang up their clothes on the line to dry then drew his brows when Xigbar suddenly appeared right behind him. "What are you doing here?" He spun to face the one eyed man.

Xigbar smirked. "Missed you too man." He snorted sarcastically then looked over at Saïx who was staring at him. "I've been looking for you two for weeks now."

"Why?" Saïx questioned as he moved to stand next to Luxord.

"He's back." He smirked over at Saïx. "Daddy came home for yewww." He purred mockingly at the Diviner.

Luxord arched a blonde brow highly at the man now sprawled out before him. "I know it's been awhile since we were all last together but I find it hard to believe you forgot what would happen when you poked at him."

"Nah" He shook his head as he sat up. "just reminiscing about the olden days." He got to his feet with a rub to his jaw. "Still have one helluva right hook." He smirked at him with a wince.

Saïx narrowed his ambers upon him. "Get to the point." He growled as that old feeling he hadn't felt in a long time churned up in him again. For some reason he couldn't quite figure out or understand why but something about the FreeShooter always rubbed him clean the wrong way. Even when they were Nobodies a sense of wanting to beat the man to death always teased at his senses.

"I agree." Luxord nodded. "You said he's back; you mean Xemnas?"

Xigbar nodded his head. "Yeah he showed up just over a month ago out of nowhere." He gave a shake of his head. "He wasn't quite all there after being lost in the darkness for so long." He then smirked evilly. "And when he came back he wasn't alone."

"What do you mean he wasn't alone?" Saïx cocked his head to the side slightly.

"It means and I don't know how he did it but he came back with everyone's favorite fit throwing scientist, the little guy, and Lexaeus."

"Really?" Luxord's eyes widened. "That is some feat to be sure."

"Definitely but they're not the same as when they disappeared."

Saïx narrowed his eyes when he paused again for that damned dramatic effect he loved to use so much. "If I have to ask you any more questions about what is going on you will quickly find yourself needing another eye patch and possibly a few new internal organs."

Xigbar chuckled nervously. "Anyway he brought back Evan, Aeleus, and Ienzo. He found them the same way Ansem found Riku; they were just floating around in the darkness sleeping."

"Interesting." Luxord nodded. "What about Marly and Larxene? Did he find them as well?"

"I don't know he never said anything about them though after their plans came to light about trying to overthrow him I highly doubt he would bring them back if he did." He snorted.

"Well I'm glad to hear he's home." Actually he wasn't; not in the least. Granted he and Saïx had been out here on the boat together for near on two years now and as lovers for the last year or so but Xemnas... How was he supposed to compete with the man that found them and gave them purpose when they were lost? After all Saïx did pine away for the Superior when he disappeared for nearly a year never mind being Xemnas' perfect little follower.

A sudden ache built up within his chest as he realized he may very well lose Saïx now that Xemnas was back.

"He told me to tell you two when I found you to come to Hallow Bastion to reunite the Organization."

Luxord gave a small shake of his head. "I must decline the offer. The Organization was the past, a closed chapter on our lives, and I will not reopen it." He looked over at Saïx who was staring at him in disbelief. "You can decide which you would like to do but I'm sure you already know how I feel about you going." With that he placed a light kiss on his forehead and headed for the cabin so he wouldn't have to watch him leave.

"So are you two?" Xigbar questioned with an arched brow.

"Yes." Saïx nodded curtly though he was staring at the door to the cabin.

"What are you going to do then?"

Saïx looked at him. "I will return to meet with Xemnas and deliver my choice in person." With that he vanished in a swirl of darkness.

xx

Luxord stood at the bow of the ship staring out into the dark horizon sad and alone. It had been just over a week since Saïx left and he was miserable. Maybe he should have just sucked it up and went back with him, returned to the old life, but why?

It was one thing to be a part of the Organization as a Nobody trying to regain a heart but now that he had one what was the point in regrouping? The only thing he could think is that Marluxia was right about Xemnas; he wanted to gain total control over darkness and plunge all living things into it. Why else put back together his precious group of thugs?

He hated to think of himself as a thug but that's what they were the muscle behind the brains, the followers of orders given by the one that created Nobodies in the first place. No he couldn't go back and try to be what he once was but wasn't anymore. He was a Somebody now and he'd be damned if he was going to let Xemnas destroy him for his own selfishness.

His eyes suddenly widened when he felt the air behind him move about wildly. "You have returned?" He questioned as his shock left him and his brows drew down into a frown. "Why?"

Saïx stared at his tanned broad back not fully understanding why he was asking such a thing. Did he not want him to come back? "You do not want me here?"

"Of course I do." He kept his focus on the darkness beyond. "You've been gone for over a week." He shrugged. "I figured you would want to be with Xemnas helping him with his cause."

"It's a futile cause." He answered not understanding this strange feeling of distance between them. Did Luxord no longer love him? If he didn't why wouldn't he just say so so he could... could... what? He didn't know what but what he did know was he was feeling a small stabbing of pain within his chest and he didn't like it in the least.

"Is that why you came back?" He questioned fearing his answer would be yes destroying his heart completely.

He drew his brows deeply as he stared at his back. "No; I came home."

Luxord smiled at that in overwhelming relief, reached behind him, grabbed him by the hand, and pulled him forward so he was pressed against his back. "Home" He answered as he brought his hand up to his lips and placed a hot kiss in the center of his palm.

Saïx wrapped his free arm around his waist and laid his cheek against his shoulder. "You said home is where the heart is."

"That I did." He smiled and pressed Saïx's hand against his chest to feel his beating heart.

"I left it with you." He whispered as he turned and placed a light kiss on his shoulder.

A shiver tore down his spine at his words tearing away the loneliness that had set on his shoulders since he left and taking it's friend sadness with it. "And you took mine when you left." He laced the fingers of his free hand with the fingers pressed against his stomach. "What about Xemnas?"

Saïx scowled at that. Xemnas was a fool the fool Marluxia always said he was. His greed destroyed his heart once and now he was going to do it a second time. "If he wants to kill himself and the others then so be it. I will not be a pawn for his experiments."

"Good" He tightened their entwined fingers. "I would hate to lose you forever."

Saïx snorted at that though he did smile and suddenly changed the subject. "Xaldin"

"What about him?" He questioned not quite sure what Xaldin had to do with anything or even why the sudden change of topic.

"He explained a new recipe to me."

He didn't know if he should sigh in relief or worry that there was going to be a new food he was going to be fed day in and day out until he couldn't stand to look at it. "Oh? And what recipe would that be?" He feared the worst and was right in doing so.

"Spaghetti."

"Can't wait to try it." He responded thinking that maybe the same foods everyday wouldn't be so bad if he changed them up by eating them straight off Saïx's chest. Now that wasn't a half bad idea. "Well you know I haven't eaten today and I find I'm suddenly starving." He urged knowing it would kick Saïx right into housewife mode.

"Very well." Saïx sighed like he was being put out. "I will fix you some dinner."

"Perfect" Luxord turned and before he could get too far away he grabbed him by the shoulder and spun him around to face him. "welcome home." He smiled then leaned down and reacquainted himself with his hot little mouth. He had every intention of memorizing it every single day several times a day no matter what Saïx had to say about it; and he knew his little Diviner would have a lot to say about it.

But he didn't care because Saïx was home.


End file.
